Voila! and it's done!

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Originally uploaded by amydell.

After much labor and fussing, the tile is layed and I am HAPY, happy, happeeeeeee!! Click on the picture to see a stream of all of the photos of the renovations we've done! It's looking pretty great! The living room and dining room have been re-painted to a "non-amydell" neutral color and the kitchen is next! We also replaced tile in the powder room and in the laundry area! I'm glad we got it done before this coming Monday- apparently all of the hispanics in houston are planning on sicking out. -- no work- no shopping, etc.. I'm really looking forward to a little less traffic on the road! ;)

Let me know what you think of the new tile!

Out with the old- In with the new!

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Originally uploaded by amydell.

Things are happening at a lighting fast pace lately- We've decided to tear up the flooring- and have the kitchen floors re-leveled and the walls all painted to a neutral color in our 100 year old home. (Not the new one) -- Its more work than we had bargained for and getting people there to do the work has been a task in itself. Harder than getting the workers there to actually WORK- is seeing the house go through this transformation. Although it still "belongs" to us- (we are monetarily responsible for it)- it becomes less and less ours as each day passes. It's as if I'm painting over memories. Mostly memories like when Bill and I did a 'PK' (pre-kids) faux-painting frenzy in the dining room and went all night (literally till 6am) to get it painted for an upcoming dinner party. Lesson #1. Dont paint a room with little ventilation just before a party (where people will be eating!) unless you want nauseated guests!!! :) Other memories that made this house ours were the bright yellow walls and faux finishes that we painted throughout- as well as the "death-tile" that was installed in the kitchen previous to our moving in. (The nanny and I affectionately call it that- because when the babies were learning to walk- if something was spilled on the slick porcelain tile- then they would slip and 'eat it'- every time they walked. Oh-the memories!! (good and bad) -- I think that the "changes" we've made will def. help sell the house. The sad thing that never dawned on me, is the detachment I would have to go through to wipe away the "beardshall's" and make it clean and fresh for someone else to build and paint new memories in it. It's heartbreaking. It's also heartbreaking not to have sold it yet. Although- the "detachment depression" one feels when they sell a home never really happened until now. Since we've still owned the home- we've been able to go in it any time. Such is life- ever-changing. We'll build new memories, in our new place and say good bye to the old. C'est la vie!

How do I count the ways?

Today- I had to deal a lot with work. Normal stuff- but stuff that I usually wouldn’t be doing. So my Friday was fried. That being said- I got to work with a gal that I had met a few weeks ago at a team meeting. Let me tell you- she rocks. Not just for the beauty she exudes when she walks in a room, but also for the independence and sharpness that is evident is each question she asks. That being said- I'd like to mention the things that I (as an outsider) noticed about her. Because (as she would say) "as a Diva, everyone needs to know my opinion!" ;) ** Perfect Hair- perfect- not a gray, not a wave out of place, cute coife -extroidinare! ** Perfect nails—That’s my gal!!!- and just up my alley- no explanation needed! ** Smart- Need I say more? ** Lives in the Rockies! (Does it get any cooler than that?) ** Hikes, walks, runs with the wolves! (Or her German shepherd!) ** Cute Boyfriend- No explanation needed. ** Drinks Shiner and Chardonnay at the same time. (that’s just COOL!) And these are just a few. -- Some people feel a need to say that they are jealous of my "situation"-- not needed... To: "some people"-- I'm jealous of YOUR life. The best thing, is that we get to be girlfriends and live vicariously through each other! Rock on -- in your big monster truck- mama! ;)

The "Milestone" Moments~

Today was a milestone, at least it was for me. I think one of the hardest parts of being a parent is not realizing when you are approaching a milestone- and you overlook it's significance. I've tried not to do this in the past- at the expense of making even the smallest things "overly" big. (other peoples opinion, not mine!) Meaning that even well-intentioned family members (even some that did not attend) thought that B&B's first birthday was over the top! They've even dropped hints that there should only be parties on their "milestone" birthdays (1, 5, 10, 16, 21) WHAT??? EVERY birthday is a milestone- and meant to be a party! I don't mean to make things a big deal- (yeah, I do) - but for God's sake- this may be my only shot at being a parent- so if I want to make a big deal out of birthdays, first haircuts, first days at the beach and new beds for them- then so be it! I vow not to do this-for anyone but them! I don't do it to keep up or to feel like I've done a better job than others with children- I make a big deal out of things because I didn't just "oops!-" my pregnancy. It was OVERLY dramatic and so will their lives be- because they are the kind of "big deal" worth having in my life. So, that being said- the milestone- we had their first "non-crib" beds delivered yesterday! We have been waiting on them for about 4 months. The were hand made by a local carpenter- and are BEAUTIFUL! They are in pieces right now- on the guest bedroom floor-. White washed and distressed- and have 2 placard-type carvings on the headboards of each one. They are heirloom quality- and I hope that B&B will love them as much (later, of course- when they can appreciate such things) as I've loved designing the beds for them. I cant just stop there though- I've basically gone over the top with the bedding for Bryce. I found Brooke's bedding immediately, but his has been much harder. I've bought and returned 4 sets of sheets, quilts and shams. I think I found the "one" today though- it can be reversed later to a floral pattern (the front side of the duvet is striped and very masculine in a "soft" shabby chic way. Baby blue, cafe and egg-shell colored (bold) stripes are on the side we'll keep flipped for Bryce- and later the reverse will "match" pretty closely to her current bedding. Perfect for a little gal or boy! The hard part of this whole process is walking into their bedroom at night- with their two matching, gorgeous cribs and watching them sleep, knowing that each day we get closer to the weekend is one of the last days I'll ever see them in a crib. They aren't my tiny 4 lb. babies anymore. They are toddlers. It breaks my heart! They each have a personality unique to them. She talks more than him. He loves music and Thomas the Train. When DID this happen? I thought I was being careful to watch and notate each milestone, to breathe and really experience each day of parenthood. But as careful as I've been- that doesn't keep their growing as people from hurting any less- because they need me less. I sound like a total freak- and completely co-dependant, but I finally understand what my mom went through only having to really raise just me. It's such a delicate balance of letting them experience their childhood and letting yourself enjoy their childhood. For now, and at least the next 3 days, I'll enjoy having them in cribs. I'll force myself to put the sheets on their new beds and talk excitedly to them about their sleeping in them for the first time, and how that makes them "big boys and girls". I'll cry inside and here, to you. knowing that this is just the beginning of the road for milestones which will ultimately lead us to their adulthood and their being productive "good citizens". In the mean time- everything is a big deal- because this is the only chance I have to be here, in this moment, loving them as they are right now.

Trying to Make it Through the Day~

Isn't it true that we're all just basically - trying to make it through the day? I've blogged before about time management (and my lack of it)- but basically- I'm sucking at it lately. Is it my lack of time, lack of organizational skills, or is it the sheer number of things on my plate? We've still got our "other" home on the market and were getting showings- but we're not staying with our current realtor past this Sunday. So- we're going to try and sell it ourselves! (gulp! Gasp!) It won't be the easiest way- but it will give us more freedom to negotiate a price that might get it sold more quickly. We'll have to see. This being said- there are things that I would like to do to the other house to make it more attractive- but every dime we spend on it- is one less dime we're putting into our new home. Herein lies the problem-- prioritizing. Not to mention the fact that I've gotten 2 wedding invitations, my best friends baby shower to plan (at my house) and a bridal shower to attend in the near future. Add on the babies 2nd birthday, (Bills b-day was this past weekend) and WORK! -- and my plate is full!! The nanny keeps reminding me to "buy floor cleaner" and when I came home from running errands this afternoon-- the house smelled like wet soil- probably from the 2500SqFt of sod we just had installed. (Imagine the smell of compost and poop!) Then there are the things that go to the bottom of the list- like B's car needing to go into the shop for a leaky a/c before the heat of summer hits- and my car needing to go in for tire pressure monitors, and oh- did I mention the garage that still needs to be cleaned out at our old house? My list is getting more full and I'm getting more frustrated! It's a good thing, I suppose to have frustration in your life- it lets you know that "life aint easy!" It keeps you grounded. It also makes me feel as if my life is very apportioned, rarely feeling as if I can reach completion of the smallest tasks. It is burdensome. It makes me feel like a less than stellar mom. I feel guilty when I have to work, run errands and get life situated for the weekend, so that we can all have time together to relax. But I also feel guilty and preoccupied when I spend too much time during the day with the kids- never feeling as if the tasks I have on my list are getting accomplished and wondering when I can get back to work as I push them around the yard on their Radio Flyer trikes. I thought that life would be hard after kids- I didn't know that my life would be cut in two! Meaning- the life I have with the kids and the life I have outside them. (And never the two shall meet) --It will get worse- I assure you- if they are anywhere NEAR as active as I was in school activities- this part is the proverbial "cake walk!" I talked this evening with my SIL- who also (just) had twins- Boys- and she is returning to work in just a few weeks- My theory of why I could not do that (my mantra) is that the (my) babies needed individual attention, that "I" (AKA- nanny AND I) could only give them. I like to tell myself that their worlds would tumble into oblivion if I weren't present to witness them blowing bubbles from a BUBBLE wizard bucket for the first time, or finger painting with chocolate pudding or riding their trikes by themselves- but they wouldn't- they would be fine! But for me- the "little" daily milestones are just too darn big for me to pass up- so I keep on, keeping on- trying to fly above the crowd on my GIANT trapeze!- flipping and spinning and grasping to feel and deal with the guilt, frustration, giggles and tears- smiles and snotty noses of everyday life. The battle doesn't make me understand motherhood any more clearly- or make me a better planner or time manager- but it forces me to breathe and experience the moments that I know will be gone- all too quickly. It makes me accountable for the title of "mom".

April is on it's way!

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Originally uploaded by amydell.

Praise the spells and bless the charms,
I found April in my arms.
April golden, April cloudy,
Gracious, cruel, tender, rowdy;
April soft in flowered languor,
April cold with sudden anger,
Ever changing, ever true --
I love April, I love you.

Ogden Nash

Beach Bliss

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Originally uploaded by amydell.

Theres a beautiful time of year (my favorite time of year) -- when the light dances on the water-just so- and the kiddos can finally run around at the lake and find "treasures", without freezing their bunz off! Click on the picture on the right to see a stream of our latest shots- they were taken up at Lake Sommerville and at a couple of bluebonnet fields near Independance, Texas. Good stuff!

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Things I'm looking forward to

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Originally uploaded by amydell.

I know I'm not supposed to rush his (their) growing up -- but here's a list of things I think of/look forward to on a regular basis:
-Your first crush
-Your first bat/ball/glove and practice with your daddy
-The first time you say "gig em!" and get what that means! (you Aggies will get this!)
-The first time you tattle on each other
-The first time you get your self dressed.
-The first time you have an opinion on what you are wearing that day
-The first time you figure out how to work the remote w/o turning on the volume so loud

I know that most of these are simple things, but I remember all the other firsts- and with two of you- its hard to stop- and realize that something is in fact a first for one or the other of you.

Tonight I read this poem- and being one of MY firsts- I thought I would share it. Its beautiful and reminds me of both of my angels!

E.E. Cummings:
i love you much(most beautiful darling)

more than anyone on the earth and i
like you better than everything in the sky

-sunlight and singing welcome your coming

although winter may be everywhere
with such a silence and such a darkness
noone can quite begin to guess

(except my life)the true time of year-

and if what calls itself a world should have
the luck to hear such singing(or glimpse such
sunlight as will leap higher than high
through gayer than gayest someone's heart at your each nearness)everyone certainly would(my most beautiful darling)believe in nothing but love

Gladness

Gladness
Originally uploaded by amydell.

Theres a certain feeling I get, every time Bill gets up to "rescue" Brooke in the middle of our "parental-quiet time" ;) (Which is every night from 8-8) It is a feeling of closeness that you cant explain to people w/o kids. She sometimes wakes up and needs a little time to calm back down. Last night was such a night. She wanted to play with the computer, immediatly- so, we went to www.starfall.com and played the ABC song a few times- while she recited a few lines and screamed out letters she wanted to hear stories for next. Her vocabulary is growing so rapidly! She's starting to say more than one word at a time and grunting much less. Every day she makes such large vocabulary strides, that its noticable. Scary, huh? Guess we better stop letting the obsenities fly around here!

Cupcake

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Originally uploaded by amydell.

Amazing how something as uneventful as a cupcake can be made to be a new adventure in eating! Happy St. Patty's day early!

Heaven-- I'm in Heaven

Bryce and Gals
Originally uploaded by amydell.

This shot was taken this a.m. at a playgroup we hosted at our house. Bryce, obviously, is quite happy and content in hanging out in his centipede tube and checking out the ladies! Oh, isnt life grand? :)

A wave to my "people" from the train

Check out the most adorable chick-a-dee in South Texas! This is just a snapshot of why we love her sweet-sunny disposition. While Granny B was in town last week- we took B&B to the Houston Zoo and on a train ride before hand-- since the boy had never ridden a large scale (smokey) train (shouldn't everyone at some point?) and the girl wasn't wasting any time- waving to her peeps- it all worked out. She always stops briefly to say "hi" or "bye" to just about everyone- and she has a very outgoing personality (as displayed in her internet movie debut) I just wish I could put some of her sweetness (now) in a bottle and keep it for a time when I'm about to loose it with her -- pull it out- and out pour the giggles and sunshine. My dad called today- first thing out of his mouth was "Aint it a booooooooootieeefull day, Sunshine?" -- I used to say to him- "aint it a boooooooootiefull day, daddy?" -- so when he's thinking of me- he usually calls and says that. Maybe baby girl gets her sunshine genetically? I wonder?? Take away all of the stress, two mortgages, consulting business, DH working for a fledgling business, and a "money pit" to constantly be sinking money into-- I might be all sunshine and giggles too. Aint it a bitch what adulthood does to a person?

Pink Power tools! COOL!

DH just sent me http://www.shinyshiny.tv/2006/03/fluffy_tools.htmlthis link to "ladies sized" tools- fluffy screwdrivers and pink hammers- what fun! At least you know it would never be "lost" or misplaced by said hubby-- ;) I think I'll run right out and get the lavender ladies screwdriver- with fluffy white feather fringe!